Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she peed on how many people?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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