So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
