Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
