I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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