there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
