Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
