Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
