I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
