Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
