I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
