I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
