smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
please come you make the beer taste better
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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