I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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