bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
