i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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