I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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