Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
