sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
