She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize