He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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