hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
