I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
