I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
