i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
