just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
