mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
