Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
