i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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