yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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