so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
