Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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