i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
