I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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