Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
