last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
