shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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