Girls should come with a carfax report
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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