i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
