Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
