handjob tips. give me some.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
