I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize