Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
