dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
