I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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