I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
