Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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