Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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