so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
