The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
