The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
