He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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