Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
