Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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