used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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