left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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