pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
