I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
