My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so that wasnt chicken after all
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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