It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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