they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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