Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
