This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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