Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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