Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
