Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
