We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
