You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
