I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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