that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are we still banned from the library?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
