So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
