great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
