Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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