I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I want a musical about memes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
