Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
