kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
